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EROS & PSICHE "THE SPICES OF LOVE

Updated: Feb 1, 2022



I know the origins, the meaning of the colors, the scents: I can call them one by one with the name assigned to them, when the earth split like a rind to offer them to the sky. The heat they give off runs through my veins. From amchur, mango powder, to saffron to answer all my needs. A whisper, and they reveal to me secret properties and magical powers "... "The spice sorceress" C. Divakaruni


WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT SEXUALITY?

Sexuality is a fundamental component in our life, aimed mainly at the search for pleasure and procreation, and at the same time capable of satisfying our needs for sweetness, passion, pampering, affection, sensuality and the need to belong. Sexuality perceived since childhood intrigues children who begin to explore their intimacy to discover their own body, for various reasons: pleasure, evacuation stimuli, or consolation to their worries. With puberty and the maturation of secondary sexual characteristics, the growth of desire becomes more and more intense, reaching its peak during adolescence. Auto-eroticism is one of the most common forms in which eroticism communicates our need for sexual fulfillment. Often the auto-erotic practice in children puts parents in serious difficulty who, when confronted on the subject, sometimes do not know what to answer when faced with explicit behaviors to explore their own intimacy. However, we should check these absolutely normal behaviors, suggesting to our little ones that they must be done in their intimacy, without there being intrusion by other peers or adults, strangers and / or acquaintances, and above all to learn their assertiveness, or the ability a terrible no. Learning to adopt the right attitude towards sexuality by involving children through suitable communication sets the basis for a harmonious and positive development towards the awareness of our intimacy. Childhood sexuality from adult sexuality is totally different, and the construction of a healthy sexuality is built from an early age through knowledge and communication suited to the age and culture of belonging.



DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS HIDING BEHIND A SEXUALLY FULFILLED LIFE?

In adulthood, sexuality is expressed through verbal and non-verbal communication: Courtship is that magical moment that initiates a loving communication and makes us available to be involved in a relationship and attractive towards the other. A happy couple relationship is like a refined and delicious gourmet cooking recipe in which all the ingredients of excellent quality must be dosed in the right measure to be able to satisfy the eyes, heart and mind. The recipe for sexual bliss is based on a perfect balance of the following ingredients:

  • PHYSICAL ATTRACTION

  • INTELLECTUAL ATTRACTION

  • EMPATHY

  • SENSUALITY'

  • SEXUAL AND EMOTIONAL UNDERSTANDING

  • INTIMATE DIALOGUE

  • MUTUAL SUPPORT

  • SHARING OF INTERESTS

  • COMMON LIFE PROJECTS;

Our well-being is a sharing of many factors. Every day we take care of our person, nourishing ourselves well, keeping our body in training, dedicating ourselves to love, protecting ourselves adequately from heat and cold, exercising our mind and our skills in the most varied ways, and of course we do not forget ours. social training ground which are relations with others. Utopianically we would like to say that every day it happens like this, unfortunately overwhelmed by life we ​​are sometimes forced to give up something, and most of the time it just happens to be sexuality that pays the consequences. Furthermore, also from a biochemical point of view, the hormonal response that should produce excitement is inhibited by stressful conditions and a hectic life.


THE RECIPE FOR THE PLEASURE OF THE SENSES

To be able to indulge in good sexual functioning, according to Helen Kaplan, a sexologist of the 70s who became famous for her "Triphasic Model of Sexual Life: DESIRE, EXCITATION and ORGASM" it is necessary to temporarily give up control over the environment.

It is therefore evident how stress, anxiety, shyness, shame of one's own body, pregnancies, abortions, inhibition due to religious or cultural reasons, performance anxieties, depression, neurovegetative disorders from simple anemia to more serious disorders can affect the quality of our sexual well-being. . Unfortunately, given that sexuality is an essential part of a dyadic relationship, when our erotic sphere is affected, a communication problem within the couple can easily occur that could be misinterpreted by the partner. It would be useful and healthy to be able to carve out a gap between work and family activities to find time for oneself and the couple. An important detail is before allowing ourselves to the other we must recognize our personal power which means accepting ourselves, taking care of us, valuing our weaknesses, forgiving ourselves, in simpler words, loving ourselves. Having learned with awareness how our erotic desire works, and how unfortunately at the mercy of events we sometimes let ourselves go, this does not mean that we have to stand by and watch the dissatisfaction of our relationships advance, but it must be a stimulus to react. There are many remedies to awaken the dormant passion, rekindle the senses and rediscover the joy of pleasure between the skin and the heart and what better occasion can we reveal if not in the month dedicated to Love?

You must know that the sexual organ par excellence is our brain, it is from here that the desire for attraction or repulsion towards our partners starts. It is the brain that, through hormonal stimulation, releases a neurotransmitter, Dopamine, which is directly responsible for the perception of gratification, pleasure and fulfillment.

Our senses are also particularly involved in the process of erotic attraction. for instance:

  1. Touch through caresses, touches and massages lights up our nerve endings, giving us shivers of pleasure on the skin.

  2. Our olfactory memory by binding in a special way our memories to an olfactory stimulus becomes an attractive source, recognized as a sort of deja vu.

  3. The visual stimuli and the use of imagination, especially if shared, turn on and make the love experience more sparkling and engaging.

  4. The auditory component through the rhythm and the whispered words ignite our desire which increases in a crescendo of passion until it explodes in pleasure enveloping all our senses.



Exercising our senses therefore promotes awareness of the sensations produced by the partner's body, increasing the well-being of both the psyche and the body.